How to be an Empath without Suffering

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The term empath denotes an individual who is more sensitive to the energetic experience of others, whether it be people in close physical proximity, or some type of non-local interaction such as over the phone or online or simply thinking of a certain person.

In all actuality, every single individual is empathic and intuitive. We all have the ability to fine-tune our sensitivities and increase our clarity of awareness.

We all feel the energy flow of those around us to some extent, but most of this may go unnoticed. Without really understanding the details of our energetic connections, we will react to the energies and emotions of those we interact with every single day, but on a subconscious level. That is, unless we become aware of our empathically sensitive nature.

Some of us may identify with the term empath in order to justify why we feel like a victim to other people’s energies. It’s a somewhat common understanding of the empath persona to feel so deeply that we feel overwhelmed by other people’s energies quite regularly. Some may feel so overwhelmed by erratic emotions, especially when in large crowds, that we determine we just prefer the more solitary life of an introvert and decide not to go out very often. In extreme cases, we feel it’s best just to stay home, except for very specific outings we feel obligated to accomplish, such as work and grocery shopping.

 

You Can be Empathic Without Suffering

 

To become more reclusive because we are energetically sensitive is unnecessary. There is a way to be an empathically sensitive individual who can comfortably go out in large crowds, even for long periods of time. We can interact with others and not get upset by the chaotic or the seemingly ‘low’ energies that others exude. I know it’s possible, because I am also extremely sensitive and empathic myself.

Empaths are very sensitive to energies, which means being highly sensitive to emotions (energies in motion). The reason why is because empaths have naturally very wide-open heart centers.

The empath’s heart chakra is extremely strong, open and intensely tuned-in. We are sensitive to other’s emotional (energetic) states because our energy field is in tune with the flow of energy between ourselves and the individual(s) with whom we are interacting.

Our heart is our emotional facilitator: and when it’s strong and open, we are emotionally very aware.

Being so energetically tuned in is why some of us get overwhelmed in large crowds. It can feel extremely chaotic and challenging to clearly understand what we are experiencing within ourselves versus what energies we may be sensing from others.

What we call emotion is simply our personal impression of the creative life-force energy flowing as, through, and within our being. This vibrant life-force energy is always flowing as a divinely orchestrated harmonic symphony, the quality of which is impeccably perfect and isn’t logically understood by analyzing, but only experientially realized as it’s felt and known within the core of our being.

When we experience this creative life-force flow clearly, we tend to become transfixed in a state of complete reverence and awe for the utter beauty that encapsulates us. Vibrant wellness is our natural state when we allow energy to flow through us. Being in an energetic state of absolute allowance, in each moment, is experienced as total peace with What Is.

 

Allowing the Ebb and Flow of Life

 

We may perceive the life-force energy flowing within our being as potentially negative or positive. But those thoughts are just our personal judgments, based on whether we are openly embracing that moment or if we are viewing our experience through the confused lens of fear and insecurity, creating resistance to that moment as it is.

The energy of life exists as the infinite flow of creation, and is neither negative or positive… yet it does ebb and flow, expand and contract. We cannot escape this flow or the cyclical shifts within it. We can only honor the entire flow in all its glory, so that we may be at peace with What Is.

What we may consider negative—such as death and destruction—is simply the creative process of eliminating what’s no longer vibrantly useful, opening up space for more expansion, and essentially creating the new from a fresh foundation.

All is a part of nature’s creative flow.

Yin and Yang occurs in this physical life experience, no matter how much suffering, struggle, and pain we may scream out against as a plea for it to stop. All is extremely sacred and vital, no matter how we may perceive it in the moment.

When we see clearly, we experience all as the sacred flow of infinite love. Struggle and suffering occurs because of our resistance against the contractual ebb of the sacred flow, not as an actual component of the flow.

We ourselves exist as the sacred flow of life. We are all innocent expressions of this sacredness in physicality. Our feelings exist as our individual impression of this creative flow as it coincides and connects with our personal experience.

When we are in a state of full allowance, being completely open energetically and by embracing all just as it is, we feel the emotions as being extremely pleasant and positive. The energy flowing unimpeded is what causes us to feel peace, serenity, contentment, calm, inner reflection, grace, limitless expansion, creativity and reverence for all.

 

Fear is Resistance

 

When we doubt, or buy into fear, we are seeing this energy through a perception that interprets the flow of energy as harsh, upsetting, disturbing, and antagonistic. We may have thoughts that tell us there’s a potential problem, and we may get caught up in the idea that something needs to be solved, resolved, protected against, proven, defended, or justified. We may feel stressed out, sad, angry, or uneasy because we buy into beliefs that lack may be our ultimate destiny.

Fear that all may not be well distorts our perception, causing us to experience the energy flow as uncomfortable and undesirable. Many of us tense up to resist the flow of energy when we fearfully perceive it as negative, because we think we should avoid feeling it in order to protect ourselves. We may suppress feeling anything we perceive as negative because we think we must ‘be positive’ to keep ourselves in a ‘higher state of vibration’ or to effectively create the reality we desire.

Our emotional state is always our own individual interpretation of the sacred flow of life.

Allowance is our naturally harmonic state of pure being which honors everything we experience and feel. Resistance, due to inner fear and feeling unworthy, is an effort to try and restrict the flow of energy within our experience, with the intention of keeping us safe—and yet doing so keeps us struggling against what is and only offers us suffering along the way.

 

Judgement Disrupts the Flow of Life

 

When we are empathically sensitive and feel uncomfortable when interacting with an individual, we may determine the other individual’s energy as ‘low’, ‘dense’, ‘heavy’ or ‘negative’. That’s when many of us empaths may determine it’s time to leave the situation to avoid that which we don’t prefer.

If we have determined another’s energy as ‘low’ or ‘negative’, that is an indicator we hold judgments and are buying into a belief of inferior and not ‘good enough’.

We only judge that which we fear. We only judge that which we deny and that which we’ve ignored within our own selves.

We judge another’s anger when we’ve suppressed our own anger. We resent another’s flow of joy when we’ve sacrificed our own joyful flow. We may also misinterpret or take another’s ‘negative’ energy personally, because we don’t realize we have unresolved insecurities within ourselves.

Our level of comfort or discomfort is always our own perception of the energetic flow. We do not experience another’s interpretation of the flow of energy, as that is filtered through their own state of being, beliefs, and awareness.

When we allow the life-force energy within our own field to flow freely (even during the ebbs of contraction), we will not determine (judge) the flow of energy within another as negative or bad, ever, no matter how the other individual experiences their own energy. We will honor the flow of energy as we and they each choose to experience it—without our personal judgments of how open or closed, dense or light, low or high we think their flow of energy may be and without feeling the need to analyze all the potential reasons why their energy may or may not be flowing.

 

Become Empowered as an Empath

 

The best way to become empowered as an empathically sensitive individual is to strengthen and increase our conscious awareness of our own connective flow to the sacred energy of life.

If we take full responsibility for our entire experience of life, we will choose to honor our own creative flow.

We can follow our heart and our knowing, and create our own amazing experiences from the joyful passion of our innermost essence. In this way, we are not actually increasing the energy itself, but are simply becoming more consciously aware of the sacred flow of energy (life) and our individual connection to it.

 

Strengthen the Solar Plexus to Ground Emotional Experiences

 

Finally, we can become more conscious as we perceive our individual energetic flow as an aspect of our power center, our solar plexus chakra. The solar plexus is the energy center within our gut that determines our level of confidence in our physical expression. This is our power center because it’s where the flow of life-force energy is most directly felt within the physical body.

As this chakra is located directly below our heart, it’s the main energy center uniting the physical human aspect of our being with our more etheric energetic essence; it is the bridge between our more intuitive senses/aspects and the physical component of our being.

Our heart and solar plexus unify our cosmic universal energy within the active physical expression of our being in human form. Our solar plexus is the vital energy center which provides us the means to actualize our fulfillment here in the physical world.

By strengthening our solar plexus, we balance our huge heart center with the grounded, physical components of our being, uniting our sacred divinity within the physicality of our human vessel. We more readily actualize our fulfillment within the physical as we apply our inner knowing confidently, by aligning our choices in each moment with our gnosis, as we balance and strengthen our solar plexus to match our already-huge hearts.

Having a huge heart but not being able to physically express that energy will only result in feeling emotionally unstable, as a victim to our circumstances and the people that form our experience, while feeling unable to physically manifest our greatest dreams.

When we embrace that which is unconscious within, enveloping all the potential unknowns with total compassion, we will no longer judge that which is unconscious within others.

Embracing all that we avoid, reject, suppress, ignore, and deny with absolute compassion offers our wounded innocence solace.

 

Allow Life to Flow with Unconditional Compassion

 

By fully facing, acknowledging, and shining the light of awareness on that which we fear, that which may appear hideous in ourselves or others, we can then perceive the exquisite beauty of our wounded innocence. We make that which is unconscious conscious.

Everything we have determined as either good or bad in the outside world exists as a mirror, reflecting that which we honor and embrace within or those aspects which we reject, deny, and resist within ourselves.

Unconditional compassion is not threatened, bothered, or upset by anything.

When we sense another’s unresolved pain, we will feel compassion if we’ve offered our own pain compassion. We do not like that which we’ve denied within. We are bothered only by that which we do not embrace within ourselves. We judge what we deny within. We reject in others that which we reject within ourselves.

As empaths, when we use all that we experience in our world to more clearly know our divine Self, we offer ourselves the gorgeous gift of taking total accountability for and embracing all aspects of our being with unconditional compassion. We recognize our entire experience is a miracle, a divine gift of eternal sacredness—and not a burden, test or struggle we must endure.

By accepting, embracing, and honoring all aspects of our own being, we will naturally offer the same compassion to all those with whom we experience the journey of life.

 

headshot_Anna Horst

 

Anna Horst is Creator, Energetic Empress, Psycho-Spiritual Consultant, & Empowerment Adviser at ConsciousManifesting.com

Love is the New Religion

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We are born to love.

As every mother knows, cradling her newborn child, love is the reason we are here.

As any lover knows, gazing into the eyes of their beloved, love is the reason we are here.

While it is true that we may hold vastly different beliefs, that we may pursue radically different paths and passions…at core, love is what connects us. Love joins our hearts.

Those of us who prefer logic and scientific methods experience love in just the same way that mystics do. In fact, there is no dividing line between those who pride themselves on their intellect and those who pride themselves on their meditative states. Love is the common factor of us all. Love unites us.

And when we look around our world today, at all of its changes, challenges, and growing pains, we see one common theme emerge. Love.

Love is what we seek. It is the new religion of our age: the glue that binds us, the spark that motivates us, the path that propels us forward.

If we look at the etymology of the word religion, we see it comes from the Latin root ligare, meaning “to bind.” Indeed, we are on a journey of coming together. We are stepping out of our old divisions, out of our old closets of fear and prejudice. We are, as a collective species, learning to drop the harmful dogmas of the past, the old fundamentalist religions of yesterday, and stepping into the new—love.

Love bind us. In love, we see we are not separate.

We are one human family. We are one beautiful planet.

Of course, many of us have different definitions of “love.” This is good! Our varied experiences and ways of defining love is a benefit to the shifts and changes our global community is currently experiencing. Diversity is beautiful and healing. Through varied ways of understanding and conceptualizing love, we can widen our hearts, and perceive the stories of those whose daily lives and customs might differ from our own.

For example, let’s travel to India. Let’s sit down in a marketplace and speak with a stranger. As we listen, we learn that the most love this person has ever felt was on the day his wife was cremated in a public ceremony, in an Antyesti. As we listen deeply, we might learn that this man, this man who cared for his wife so deeply, felt his consciousness expand when he saw his beloved’s body burst into a million billion flames. We learn how a deep sense of awe arose in his heart as her flesh turned to smoke before his eyes. We realize that the catastrophic pain and trauma he experienced through losing his wife was actually, paradoxically, the key to his spiritual breakthrough. He realized that death was not the end of life, but merely a transition. He learned that love does not end…love continues.

Yes, if we talk to this man in India, he will no doubt define love in a different way than a man would in Australia or a woman would in Belgium. We all have different definitions of “love,” many different words to describe, based upon our unique cultures and upbringings. And that’s okay! Because, at core, love is not a word or a definition…love is, rather, an energy. A state of being. And we have all felt it. It is what we share.

About seven years ago, I began to explore both polyamory and spirituality. For many years prior, I had been very staunchly anti-religious and quite bitter about what I perceived to be the shitty conditioning implanted into me by the fundamentalist Christian church in which I was raised—a church that condemned gays to hell and pronounced sex outside of marriage a terrible sin. Once I left my parents’ house and entered college, new ways of life began to open. I began to breathe fresh air. In my studies and social life, I began to connect with different kinds of people across different backgrounds—people whose basic assumptions about life were very, very different from mine. I also began sharing my poetry at coffee shops and in magazines. Through this art form, I began to experience my own creativity and intuition in a way that I’d never been able to do before.

My husband and I began to explore polyamorous relationships around the time we both began to explore meditation. We began to realize that opening our hearts and intimately connecting with others beyond our union of two was deeply healing and profoundly joyful. And as we began exploring polyamory, we began to also explore altered states of consciousness—states where the rational brain was no longer explicitly in control. These states were achieved through various practices: breathing, yoga, Reiki, dance, tantric sex, and plant medicine ceremonies. It was around this time that I began to realize that even though I’d freed myself from the confines of conservative religion, there was still a desire within my heart to explore the parts of me that dwelt in something other than the mind, something other than logic or rational analyses.

A few years later, I began working as a healer and spiritual teacher. As I dedicated my life to this thrilling work, I sensed that what would be most beneficial for me would be to open my heart—not only by exploring the wonderful ways I might connect, learn, and share with new poly partners, but also by exploring the ways that I might connect with the spirit of each and every single person I encountered in my daily life. The woman bagging my groceries began to take on as much importance as my lover in bed. The man handing me cash at the bank began to take on a dearness that had been previously reserved for my husband. I became thrilled by the love energy that was flowing from my eyes, my heart, and my hands, positively uplifting everyone on its path.

As my journey progressed, I began to realize that, more than anything else, what humanity needs, right now, is love.

Indeed, love is not just about sex and romantic partnering. Love is much, much more. Love is compassion, acts of kindness. Love is a twinkle in the eye; love is laughter in the heart. Love is doing for others.

Most importantly, love is loving ourselves. Love is looking in the mirror each morning and saying to our own reflection, “You are beautiful! You are awesome! I love you!”

We came to this life to love.

Love dissolves the feeling of separation that seems to come between us. Love lets us feel close again.

Love lets us forget ourselves: forget our own pain, our own struggles—if only for a moment. Love heals. Love unites.

Indeed, love is the new religion of our times. I believe this is why polyamory is rapidly gaining popularity and public recognition. As relationship radicals such as poly and LGBTQ folks free themselves from the limiting cultural norms and dogmatic religious constructs of an old paradigm that is on its last legs (Trump represents the last dying gasps of an old way of viewing the world), new kinds of families and new kinds of community are being created. No longer are we isolated into our separate monogamous dyads, fearfully protecting and shielding ourselves from a scary outside world. No. There is, more and more, a brave intuition that what makes the most sense now is to come out and come together. Now is not the time for closets, retreat, and fear—no. What we need to do, right now, is to bravely come together, opening our hearts and sharing our lives and stories.

On this new path, we drop our judgements and see each person for the divine beautiful soul that they are. We see beyond the outward appearance, behind the names and roles and occupations, and see the glimmer of pure life force within. We see ourselves as brothers and sisters, in love.

As we create this new planet, we create from a space of love, putting in place new modes, new forms, new structures, new expressions of what it can mean to be a human being.

As we wake up, we create more love, from love.

We transform. Everything.

 

 

Language

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I think of our house.
The one that was ours.
Nipples, thighs,
and never a storm.

A house encircled by palm.
Flocks of orange-winged
blackbirds,
each morning,
speaking our name.

XOXO
XOXO

The Wheel

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1.
Time is a wheel
and we are on it.

We are on it.
2.
2.
Please note
the delicacy of this motion.

For it is not with a gusting
thrusting weight,
nor with a bustling, hustling fervor
no.
Rather:
quietly,
unassumingly,
it enters.
No announcement.
No word.

3.
3.
It is the pure spin of a blue jay’s wing,
weightless,
midair,
contemplating nothing.

It is a bird, frozen in time,
yet soaring forward
as we all tend to do.

As we all tend to do.

Daily Miracles: The Free Massage

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A few days ago, I was super stressed out. My neck felt like it was made of fire and my legs like they were made of stone. I felt tired, anxious, and short of breath.

Although my intention has been to save—and not spend—money this month on anything “extra,” I knew that what I most needed was a massage. I knew it would be the best plan for self-care, the best way to heal.

So, I texted my favorite massage therapist. I waited all morning and afternoon, but he did not reply. I felt sad, as I watched the hours tick by, with no response.

By evening, however, I received a text from one of my dearest friends, who is currently a student in massage school. He wrote: “Intuition told me to ask you: Can I give you a massage?”

And so, that night, my darling friend came over to my home, and I received a very blissful two-hour massage experience for absolutely free. And, on top of that, we had time for a wonderful conversation, wherein I was able to express some of my feelings and release some much-needed tears. The evening was much better than anything I could have ever paid money for. It was perfect. Exactly what I needed.

 

The Universe loves us.

The Universe provides for us.

The Path

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My heart is the sunrise—
always ready,
always warm.

My palms are the sunset—
in prayer,
to close and bless the day.

Who could have guessed such joy?
Such bliss?

To inhabit a body.

To wake up from a dream.

Peace

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Peace
in a cup of tea.
Peace
in a plate of olives.

Practice words
or silence.

Either way,
to melt,
to melt,
can be yours…the unblinking reality
of ecstasy at dawn.

Loves, let’s herald the morning;

let’s bow with a mouthful of bread.

Love Will Heal Our Planet

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We cannot judge the ignorant and awaken at the same time.

We cannot hate those who hate and awaken at the same time.

 

Compassion is the place where all paths go.

Love is the place where all the paths go.

 

Each moment of love: a moment where we free ourselves from bondage, where we free ourselves from all the histories of violence and oppression on Earth.

 

When we put down judgment, love is there.

When we put down hate, love is there.

When we put down disagreement, love is there.

When we put down the need to be “right,” love is there.

 

Love is just naturally there.

It is always there.

 

This is what will heal our planet. This and only this.

Mantra for a Bad Day

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When my mind is racing, breathe.
When my heart is pounding, breathe.
When my spirit is breaking, breathe.

When my mind is doubting, breathe.
When my heart is sinking, breathe.
When my spirit is flagging, breathe.

When my mind is collapsing, breathe.
When my heart is exploding, breathe.
When my spirit is suffering, breathe.

When the world seems total shit, breathe.
When one more minute
seems one more minute too many, breathe.

When I want to scream and cry.
When everything,
every damned thing,
seems horribly wrong, breathe.

Breathe.

Just Breathe.

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